If you're too lazy to exercise, come closer...

Lazy-asses of the world, unite! in emptying your wallets. But relax, there's still time to get over your mortgages and credit card debts before sinking into this hole. Just don't say I didn't warn you.

A recent news item has it that somebody's created "exercise in a pill." According to said item, mice given the drug burned more calories and ran farther than a control group. Whoa! Little fur-bearing Carl Lewises and Jackie Joyner-Kersees, made by a pill? Sounds like training day is about to become a relic of the past, like belt machines, exercise bikes, and Jane Fonda workout tapes.

The author of the article, a medical doctor, adds that the drug would take years to get FDA-approved. Maybe, but I'm not so sure that will prevent idiots from buying it when it does come out. And it eventually will come out, I predict. Because there are enough potential buyers to justify whatever research costs.

Also, he says the exercise drug would have to give all the benefits of real exercise. That would only be true if it were supposed to replace exercise. Do I agree? As you expected, I do not. This sounds more like wishful thinking than anything. I seriously doubt that any synthetic chemical will replace the complex reactions that occur when training. We won't go into all of that, simply because I don't know all of it. And besides, it wouldn't fit into a blog entry. Suffice it to say, the R&D guys will keep trying to satisfy lazy asses by making a pill to do the job - all in the name of progress.

Progress it might be if we discover all the intricacies of the body. But the cynic in me seriously doubts that's the motive behind this. If this pill gets the FDA green light, you know damn well what's going to happen.

Can you say "Bandwagon"? I knew you could.

You know what's going to happen: Fitness magazines and gyms will be falling over themselves to market this stuff. Celebrities will make special appearances on Oprah to say how much it's done for them. Every website will be choking with banners hawking it. Infomercials will run 24-7 like the Rapture's on its way:

New! - Miracle Fitness Pill!!!
Buy now before it's too late!!!!

Yes folks, it's a snake-oil salesman's wet dream. And it's coming soon - break out the umbrella, or better yet, build an ark.

(Image cleverly five-finger-discounted from http://blog.modernmechanix.com/2007/11/17/fat-men/)